


exulansis

by mushten



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance, Ten Chittaphon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2018-12-25 15:24:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12038733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mushten/pseuds/mushten
Summary: Torn in between believing what's realistic and considering the slightest possibility, will you recognize the person you admire the most—on an unexpected encounter—in real life? But what if he makes it impossible for you to know the answer to this question?This is a story of a fangirl, her obliviousness and an idol who meets each other for the first time as complete strangers.





	1. Meet Where?

_Too many people..._

She thought while wincing at the intense heat that seemed to envelope her wherever she went. The inner square of the mall was filled with different stalls marketing different products, food mostly, and from afar she saw stuffed toys of different sizes displayed and hung on the facade of one stall. She squinted and grazed her gaze first at the neighboring makeshift shops on her right, hoping to find a shop that would interest her, perhaps an accessory store or a book sale at least.

It was the bazaar's second day, and knowing this made her understand why the area was extremely cramped with people of different ages. The colors presented before her were aesthetically appealing: there were touches of mint green, peach, beige, coral pink, and aquamarine blue coming from the cotton candy stall and the shop merchandising women's blouses and dresses. The entire covering of the tents were all in a uniform color of white, which allowed the braided crepe papers dangling like curtains on the base of the roof stand out beautifully. She had to admit she missed going out to places like this, but with the temperature that seemed to be at its peak, so many people bumping into her and her entire body feeling greasy, such circumstances didn't allow her to enjoy the experience of being there at all.

"Hey Tarin hurry up!" A female voice called out at her. There was a tinge of irritation from the demand, but nonetheless didn't suggest a dictatorial-like kind of order.

Upon hearing her friend's voice, she suddenly snapped back to reality and remembered why she was there in the first place. However, all she knew was that they were about to meet her friend's best friend from Thailand, but for some unknown reason, the meet up was to take place in such a strange location. It bothered her that she barely knew what was in her friend's mind every time she'd get dragged like this. This is just one out of the many occasions where she had received a last minute call from the older female asking if she could come with her to run an errand, only to hear their doorbell ringing seconds later to see the person on the other end of the call beaming at her in front of their gate. It left her with no choice; it was hard to refuse her invitations when her friend's already dressed up and looking expectant. Tarin sometimes wondered how come she ended up being inseparable with this person for four years ever since she other moved in to their neighborhood, a friendship which started when she muttered a polite "hi" towards Tarin when she was reading  _Sense and Sensibility_  in a park one day on a swing.

They surprisingly clicked, despite the prominent differences between the two. It would be safe to say that her friend was more outgoing and bolder than her, commendably athletic, though they share that same soft side whenever they're just alone, almost on a daily basis having heart to heart talks on the phone or alternately hanging out in each other's homes. Although unfortunately for Tarin, this would involve constant nagging from the older female for her to go out more often and to stop herself from settling with the label of being an introvert. "It isn't bad to be who you are and I never asked you to change," she had said, "but how can you live life to the fullest and meet the man of your dreams if you won't at least explore the outside world?"

She knew her friend meant well, she had a point and it was kind of her to regard introversion as a part of Tarin with respect. Although putting that aside, it was also hard not to question her plans, not with a memory of the older girl setting her up for a date without her knowing. It was on a summer day when she pleaded Tarin to come with her, said that she had plans on meeting a high school friend, which Tarin expected to be singular. By the time they settled in one of Burger King's booths, three minutes later she was left practically alone with a guy who came aside from Rina, the high school friend who was originally the only person she knew they were supposed to meet. Her eyes widened with panic when she saw the two girls sneaking a look from a corner wall at the far end of the restaurant, giving her "fighting!" gestures and winks. She figured it was a set up date which made her stomach churn out of anxiety, and she was more than relieved when the boy had to leave thirty minutes later when his mother called him to come home. At the very least she thought it was cute when she noticed that he was polite with her and his parents, which made him a not-too-bad company. Unfortunately, she did not feel any sort of blooming romantic fondness over him, much to her friend's dismay.

"For the twentieth time I am going to ask you this and it probably wouldn't be the last until I am satisfied of your answer. Do we really really have to meet there?"

The other female glared at her, and Tarin felt her tongue move back down her throat, regretting she spoke again. "And for the twentieth time I'm saying 'yes'. Now can't you just please follow me?" She released an exasperated sigh. "Look, I don't know why of all places, my friend chose that spot. He could be strange at times. But  _trust_ me this wasn't the strangest and the most unpredictable thing I had to deal from him."

Tarin made a face. "You both are undoubtedly best friends, sharing the same traits of being strange and unpredictable."

This earned the younger girl a light slap on her forearm, which made her cackle due to her friend's unusual taut demeanor.

"Seriously, you look fidgety. Is there something wrong?" The playfulness in her voice faded eventually, which was replaced by a tone of concern.

"Nothing really... I just really really need you to come with me. I haven't seen him for ages but you know how I feel about him right?" Her voice faltered. "I might... you know..."

A sudden impact on Tarin's leg startled her, and she looked down by impulse, only to see a kid clinging onto her leg. She gently smiled at the little boy and placed a hand on his head, and in a matter of seconds a woman--which she assumed to be the boy's mother--went rushing to her and carefully peeled her son's hands off her leg, apologizing in the process. She smiled again and politely responded with an "it's alright ma'am," and for a moment she watched them go before returning to her friend.

Realizing they've been standing in the middle of the square where they could likely be hit by the people passing, she pulled the other girl at the side. "Oh my frick. Are you saying--"

The other female leaned and folded her arms on the barricade marking the perimeter of the bazaar, and rested her chin on it. It was one of those rare moments when Tarin had seen her friend this vulnerable and unsure of herself outside the walls of their homes, indicating that this may be more serious than she had acknowledged before. "I don't know. Should I?" Her voice cracked.

"Emma, look." Tarin started. "You've known him for 6 years. It's about time. You practically knew him for almost half of your life. When else can you have this opportunity?"

Emma lifted her eyes as if searching for reassurance on Tarin's face, and Tarin nodded, understanding what it meant.

A phone buzzed and disrupted the intimate atmosphere of their brief heart to heart talk, a muffled instrumental music with deep bass startling both of them. They both shared a knowing look with the thought of the person they were supposed to meet, and Emma nervously fished for her phone and cleared her throat before swiping the answer button with her thumb.

"Hey... Yes I'm sorry we'll be there in a while."

                       

* * *

 

 

"You look awful dude."The taller boy muttered.

"Shut up." The other retorted weakly, a sigh escaping from his lips due to exhaustion and the heat. "Seriously Joon why are we even here? We could have chosen a better place that is well ventilated and with a chair at least." The smaller boy whined, his voice muffled by the face mask obscuring half of his face.

He felt his legs feel numb due to its crossed position under him for about fifteen minutes now. There was a dull throb in his head, the remaining unpleasant feeling of jet lag still not leaving his body despite that it has already been a day since their arrival. The travel from Bangkok didn't exactly take too long; it was in fact quite a smooth travel, there wasn't any traffic in the airway, they departed right on the scheduled time and arrived five hours later to their destination--which is here.

Lack of sleep maybe, he thought. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he took off his glasses.

They only planned on staying for about a week, originally just to visit Joon's aunt who owned a rest house near a beach, and it excited him when Joon invited him to come as well while he's still on a short break from his work. He had been wanting to surf again for the longest time, and the thought of visiting a different country to do this made him feel giddy. Although hesitation crossed his mind too at first, thinking if it would be wise to spend a portion of his brief vacation away from his family again when he barely saw them for the past seven years, but his father told him to indulge and not to worry about them so much. It was only his mother who was initially reluctant to let him go, but eventually gave in when he assured her that he has one more month to spend with them on his return.

"I'm getting a drink Joon. I feel like fainting. Do you think there's a convenience store nearby the exit of the mall?" He asked as he started to unwind his legs under him.

He started inching towards the exit as he reached out one of his hands, which came in contact with the cool metal of the compartment's door.

"Ten I don't think--"

"Is it this one? This is it right?" A voice, unmistakably a female's, interrupted the other male halfway through his sentence.

Ten jolted backwards, his back crashing lightly against the wall of the compartment where he was previously leaning against. He must have created a pretty prominent sound that was heard from the outside because another female voice spoke up, the cautiousness evident in her tone.

"I think someone's inside. Maybe it's him? Can you call him to confirm? I'll knock on the bus' compartment door."

There was a brief silence before a shrill laugh echoed in the mini space confining the two males, and Ten's head whipped back to see the other boy cackling by himself. Joon reached out and with some effort pulled up the door, to reveal two astonished-looking girls in front of them.

"Emma! It's me!" He waved enthusiastically with his other hand that wasn't holding the door.

"Oh my god Joon you didn't tell me she isn't alone." Panic welled up inside the smaller boy's chest, and he had to fight the urge to bolt outside and hide himself. It was unusual for him to be this shy, but he never felt so exposed in his life. This may be due to the nature of his work, and he was so used to having guards around him and with little to no interactions with other people he doesn't know.

"I also did not know." Joon responded softly through his gritted teeth.

The two of them clumsily got out of the bus compartment, and Ten had to support himself against the vehicle to keep his footing.

Emma, which Ten observed as the taller one among the two, jumped on Joon and hugged him tightly, which left him and her other friend awkwardly staring at them. When they released each other, it was the only time Emma seemed to have noticed Ten's presence as she eyed him thoughtfully.

"Joon who is he? A friend? I didn't know you had a friend with you?" She asked, but with a tone of plain curiosity.

"I--uh..." Ten started, but bit his lip.

 _Shoot_ , he thought. It didn't occur to him something like this would happen. He didn't know if he should admit who he is, but the chance that they might know him scared him. Ten mentally scolded himself for not being able to think of a fake nickname for emergencies like these, and at the same time, he was mentally strangling his friend for dragging him into this situation.

Ten's gaze landed on Emma's friend for a while, and for a second he thought he saw confusion in her expression. It was intriguing, but he felt like she could see through him and he broke away his gaze before he might combust into flames from the pressure of her gaze on him.

And then he had finally decided... he wouldn't lie. It was harder to keep on pretending without even knowing how long he's going to be with the two girls. Ten was about to speak again when it was Joon who spoke for him.

"He's a friend from Thailand! Emma, meet... Eleven."

Ten almost choked on his spit.  _He's who?_

"Oh hi!" Emma chuckled. "Thai people really do have unique nicknames I must say. Just like yours is based from the month of June." She mocked Joon. "Anyways it's nice to meet you! Joon, Eleven, this is Tarin, she's my neighbor and my closest friend ever since I migrated here."

 _Eleven_?

Looks like Joon just decided his fate for him.


	2. Cold

"You didn't tell me you brought a friend with you... um he...he. It's nice to meet you! You're very pretty." Tarin felt anxiety starting to gnaw at her as she sensed Joon's odd behavior. He seemed both in the act of trying his best to look friendly while trying to hide his alarmed state.

_Do I look like I eat people?_

It seemed like Emma was oblivious of this when she didn't comment about it, and instead responded to her friend's inquiry explaining that she even mentioned a "we" when he called asking where she was, indicating that she wasn't alone.

"Oh I'm not really... but thank you very much." Tarin felt like she was making a face similar to the emoji sweating while smiling.

 _Is coming here the right decision?_  Tarin thought. She somehow felt unwelcome. Her presence seemed so. It was odd enough when Emma's friend started looking jittery like those characters in comedic films trying to blurt out random things to throw the other party off their scent.

She gave another glance at Eleven, and she felt her stomach drop as she met his gaze.

_Mother of cheesecakes._

_His eyes are so pretty though?_

She noticed the specs dangling on the neck of the boy's black shirt, and how his hair seemed so soft, bouncy and fluffy. His dark hair looked longer than what most boys would usually maintain, but a length just enough to cover the top portion of his ears and create curtain-like waves on his forehead. It looked good on him, she must say, and she really like how it was parted in the middle, which is something not a lot of boys could sport and look good with without looking ridiculous.

For some reason he reminds her of someone.

The name was at the back of her mind, but she felt like she wouldn't be able to tell unless he fully exposes his face. It might give her brain a snap to remember.

Or maybe she's already been thinking of someone but is too afraid to put a bet, afraid that she'd be disappointed in the end.

_It's too impossible but maybe he just really resembles him somehow._

So many thoughts were running in her head until Tarin noticed how his eyes partially turned into crescents, with subtle crinkles forming at the corner of his eyes.

_Whatthefiretruck ahshdsjtbnaxhdh?_

_Did he just smile at me?_

He was still awkwardly staring, and so Tarin thought he equally wanted to seem friendly to her and was expecting for a reply. She responded a small smile at him and hoped it wasn't just her imagination that he smiled at her at all.

"Anyways... as I was saying, it's my birthday tomorrow and there would be a mini gathering at my place on Saturday. Unfortunately I'm loaded with some things to read tomorrow so a party on a weekend would be the most feasible. There's really no specific attire to follow, but I'd really like to shop for a dress at least with Tarin today since we're already here. Would you guys want to eat dinner in this mall?"

"Oh um..." Joon nudged Eleven and they made eye contact, momentarily seeming like they were having telepathy. Emma giggled at this.

"It's alright if you're not good with it."

"No no it's alright. Eleven is okay with it. He said in my head. We have this bro telepathy he told me anywhere is fine... but just not in a place that's too crowded?" He added hastily.

"Emma." Tarin spoke softly. "I think this place is quite crowded. Especially with the bazaar on its second day. Maybe we should drop by a different mall instead? You know, like the one adjacent to this building where we once bought heels from. The shops there are mostly high-end but I'm pretty sure you'll find something. In the department store there are already a lot to choose from."

It made sense to her that the boys would prefer a place that's not swarmed with so many people on a summer day, but she felt weird. As if it's not the only reason why. It's also not unusual for her to see someone wearing a face mask but it made her wonder why Eleven was wearing one. They're quite far from the main road, so there wasn't much dust and smoke that could be inhaled, and he didn't seem ill, but who knows maybe he is. A common cold, or a cough, maybe a pimple he wants to hide? Or maybe he generally just wanted to protect himself from any airborne illness he could possibly acquire especially that he's in a foreign ground.

_Yep, that makes sense. Badum-tss._

Her friend gave her a sideway glance and nodded in agreement. "Alright. Let's go!"

 

 

* * *

 

  
The mall was emptier than how they expected it would be. And by being empty it would mean that they would be the only ones enjoying the air-conditioned space, and by that it would mean Tarin would be freezing in a few minutes. She cursed internally for forgetting her sweater which she have already prepared earlier, and she could perfectly remember where she last placed it.  _On the fricking kitchen counter bruh why you gotta be so forgetful._ She mourned in her head as she started shivering and getting goosebumps.

The interior of the mall was blindingly bright with white walls, shiny off-white tiles and white lights blotching the ceiling at intervals. For a moment she squinted as her eyes adjusted.

"Emma." The younger girl whispered as she rubbed her arms with her hands in her hopes of getting rid of the coldness she felt. "Did Joon mention Eleven to you before?"

"Are you finally interested in someone?" The older girl teased and Tarin rolled her eyes. "But lol nope. Never. I've only seen him today. But maybe I did in the pictures Joon sent me before, just couldn't figure out if he was there since his face is barely exposed. He seems mysterious huh."

"Girl for a moment I really thought you set me up for another blind date. I swear I would've strangled you and you would have made your infamous dolphin noises if you ever do that again."

Emma sniffed. "It was enough for me to learn my lesson when you glared at me for the entire night. It was as if you were possessed. Never doing it again I swear."

Tarin laughed at this. "You really better not! I still can't forget how much nerve wrecking that was."

She could still remember the feeling vividly, but it was otherwise a distant memory that didn't really bother her as much as it did before. She paused for a while and gazed over her shoulder, and she saw Joon and Eleven a few feet behind them, engaged in a light conversation. The taller boy, Joon, would occasionally point out some shops while murmuring things she couldn't exactly hear, but the other boy was nodding in response. She noticed that Eleven was still wearing his face mask, but one of his fingers was tentatively hooked on the brim of it, as if he was about to pull it down in any minute. It was then when she noticed that he was wearing two black rings overlapping each other on his pointing finger, and she was almost entirely sure she had seen it before.

 _Why am I this intrigue about him?_ Her face contorted to a meme worthy confused look.

"Would it sound weird if I tell you that he reminds me of someone?"

They entered one of the shops merchandising young adult apparel and Emma started skimming through the dress racks. "Do you mean Eleven? Who?"

"Err... you might say I'm too delusional. You know how much I admire this person and to say that a stranger reminds me of him is too... I don't know."

"Your thai boy from NCT?" She felt cheesy with the possessive term. Emma gave Eleven--who was waiting outside the shop with Joon--a thoughtful glance before staring back at the rack."His fringe is quite long it's covering the only part of his face that's exposed so I couldn't really compare him with your man's pictures on your desk." She smirked. "That's quite a shocking similarity I must say if he does resemble him. Especially since they're both thai and their nicknames are coincidentally inspired from English numbers."

For some reason Tarin's heart leaped. There were too many similarities between them it's frightening her. She has been outdated about her favorite kpop groups for the past three months due to her studies and so she didn't have any idea of their whereabouts.

"You think so?" Tarin frowned. "Anyways, Joon is pretty good-looking by the way. You guys really look good together." She chuckled.

"What does that have to do with each other?"

"Um well you're very pretty too and he's handsome. Power couple. You guys are lucky to have each other."

There was a short pause before Emma smiled bitterly. "Thank you. I'm telling him how I feel after the party. I'm not even sure if it'll work out or if he even feels the same way but what you said hit me. It's now or never."

There was something about confessing that scared Tarin ever since, and she understood why her friend hesitated before. So many things could change after, and there isn't even a least bit of an assurance the feeling is mutual. Emma had told her before Joon gave her mixed signals probably due to their close relationship, but the boy seemed so oblivious of what she truly felt about him.

"Oh! This is beautiful!!!" The other girl pulled out a blue sleeveless dress with a pastel flower print. "I'll just fit it then maybe if the dress isn't too skimpy or loose on me I won't canvass anymore. The boys will for sure whine out of boredom any minute now."

"Oh sure sure."

                               

* * *

  
"How long have you been friends with Emma?"

Both boys were leaning on the railing near the escalators, and beyond the railings, they could see a few people walking at the floor below them. Joon made a humming sound. "Um 6 years? I met her during college. That was the time you were busy with training and on the road towards debuting so I never got to introduce her to you personally. And then she migrated here after college because her parents wanted to look after her grandparents closely. This is originally her hometown so her relatives apart from her immediate family really do live here. We've been video chatting and texting each other in LINE ever since then to keep in touch."

"Ahh..." Ten remembered his friend Primmy and how they've been friends for more than a half of their lives. He missed her but he knew she's successful and happy with her current career she just used to dream of, just like his dream of becoming an idol seemed like an unreachable goal until he finally debuted in NCT.

He watched the two girls inside the shop and wondered if ever they would know about his profession, and how they would treat and act around him if ever they do know about it. Joon was aware Ten just wanted to have a vacation where he could just be himself and be momentarily away from the flash of cameras and eyes of the people who knew him as a famous figure. Which is why out of all places, the other boy planned on hiding inside the bus' compartment, basically to keep Ten away from everyone, including fans, sasaengs, scary people, taller people, girls and boys who might hit on him, people giving out leaflets of condominiums and dogs.

Yes dogs.

Joon knew he is crazy over dogs and Ten is unstoppable if he wants to pet them. He would have potentially asked all the owners of the dogs in the area if he could pet them, hug them, and if possible, even adopt them.

Ten internally laughed at the idea.

He watched as the two girls left the shop with Emma carrying a paper bag with her. Tarin was smiling as her friend talked about things which he couldn't hear, but he smiled as he thought of how they seemed like a good company. He noticed how Tarin shivered and was rubbing her hands on her arms.

"Joon... can you give this to her?" Ten handed his sweater which was originally wrapped around his waist.

"Who?"

"Emma's friend. T-Tarin?" The name sounded quite foreign to him.

Joon smirked. "Wow such a gentleman. Is this step one out of 101 towards finally getting a girl by Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul?"

Ten laughed. "What the hell I wasn't even thinking of that. I'm just trying to be nice."

" _Nice_..." His friend mumbled and made a face as if he wasn't convinced.

"Whatever just give it to her she's freezing. But don't tell her it's mine."

Joon started walking and looked over his shoulder, a laugh erupting from his throat. "But why?"

"Do I need to have a reason?" Ten shook his head while grinning.


	3. Perfect Gift

It was a day before the party and Joon didn't know what to give Emma. He felt stupid for not remembering to buy something in Thailand before they flew here, much more when they were already in a mall yesterday. Today's her birthday, and Ten watched as his friend beside him typed keywords in the search bar which he kept on deleting.

"Bro what is wrong with you would you like me to press the enter button instead?" Ten snorted. He then stopped scrolling through his phone which was bombarded with messages. At that moment he felt as if he wasn't yet in the mood to reply to them except those from his parents and sister, which he always considered urgent.

The taller boy did not face him but replied absentmindedly. "I don't know what to give Emma I'm panicking. She might think I didn't remember her birthday."

Ten gazed at his friend's laptop screen. "Were you just trying to... ask help from google?" He felt laughter erupting from his throat. They've been friends for almost a decade and he find it funny Joon was still relying on google for aid when he should've known Emma enough to know what to get her.

Joon was in the middle of typing a phrase when he stopped with " _what to give a twenty-three year old girl for her birthd"_ to glare at his friend.

"Hey you  _Eleven_  don't laugh at me. You'll understand how I feel once you have to look for a gift for a girl friend."

There was a pause before Ten's enthusiastic high pitched laugh filled the room.

"Ohmahgad." Ten clapped his hands. "Ohmahgad I would have asdfghjkl-ed but I'm having a verbal conversation with you." He spoked swiftly. "But I'm speaking to you in all caps with burning feelings: SO IT'S OFFICIAL?"

"What do you mean official? I didn't say anything like that though?"

"You just called her girlfriend bruh?"

"A girl that is a friend. It has a space! Get your facts straight shorty."

Ten gave him a straight face. "Call me shorty one more time I'm going to tell Emma you like her."

The taller boy's eyes widened.

"You should've seen your face." Ten cackled once again and held his stomach. "Ouch my stomach hurts."

"I would've replied to you that if you do that I would reveal your identity but it would probably do you more good than bad. Emma might like you so I'm not risking it." Joon pouted.

The conversation suddenly switched with seriousness and it felt strangely fulfilling to Ten as he started blurting out things he least expected would come from him. "Well... I don't think she's that kind of person. And I don't think she'll like a person like me? Like what? Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul? She probably wouldn't even be able to remember my real name." He laughed. "But kidding aside, we don't know if the feeling is mutual but to tell her how you feel is worth a shot. I just hope that wouldn't change a thing and I do believe you're too important to her for her to allow your friendship to end if ever confessing would result to the worst case we've been considering. It sucks I can't advice a lot of things because I've never really liked a girl at that extent? But I'll be supporting you from the sidelines if you ever need back up from me." He smirked and gave Joon a flirty nudge on his shoulder.

"Why don't you ask Tarin? She might give you better and more specific answers than google could ever give."

Joon's face lit up, as if the Holy Spirit suddenly went down and enlightened him. "Bro what would I do without you." He kissed Ten's cheek and hastily stood up to grab the keys of the car he rented last night. It was a playful bromance affection that even his members in the dorms would do sometimes, although it was mostly him and specifically two of his group's members Yuta and Taeyong who usually would do it to show their love for the rest of the boys in the group.

"I know you love me." He joked. He stood up then and thought of bringing the sweater he had yesterday as well, just in case they would visit a mall that was as cold as the one they last visited. And then he remembered it.

_Ah right, it's with her._

Ten fished for a clean face mask inside his duffel bag before they both left the hotel room.

 

* * *

  
"Tarin Toshika Dee Kwon!"

Tarin sat bolt upright on her bed, or rather Emma's bed, when she heard her full name being called. At first she thought it was her mother who called out to her, which explains why she immediately woke up. But then she remembered that she came to have a sleepover at Emma's house last night. Her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest from the loud voice that woke her up from her sleep, and she was ready to fight when she realized it was only her friend who screamed her name.

"Emma! I could've died of heart attack what is wrong with you?" Tarin laid back down again and groaned.

Her friend swiftly approached her and tugged at her arm, demanding her to stand up. "Wake up! Joon asked if you could tour Eleven around the city!"

At that moment she suddenly wished she did not wake up at all. She felt her face heating up but tried to hide it by scratching her nose. "What?! Why me? Like between us? In this economy? Hey are you sure you're not setting me up again?"

"What the hell Tarin what does the economy have anything to do with this. I'm busy remember? I can't leave these papers now, my boss needs the final output tonight, and I can't have things running inside my head tomorrow during the party." She frowned. "And hey, this time I swear I don't have anything to do with this. What if this is like lowkey Eleven's way of asking you out?"

_Wait what? Eleven? Ask me out?_

"Don't you think that would be escalating too quickly we haven't even exchanged 'hi's or 'hello's and I don't even know how he looks like? What if he looks like Chewbacca?"

"Child, you're overthinking damn it I'm teaching you to go out, flirt and date! And Chewbacca? Really? So your thai boy looks like Chewbacca? Just please take a bath, dress up and go down they're waiting downstairs. Joon just greeted me a happy birthday awhile ago I almost cried he got more attractive and manly." Emma faked a sob and wiped her invisible tears.

"Congratulations." Tarin smirked. "And noo hey Ten is a prince." She defensively whined. "I was kidding I honestly think he's handsome." She frowned. It would be an indirect insult to the person she admires the most if she thought of Eleven that way. Especially when it was her who even mentioned the resemblance between the two.

Next week would be a busy period for her once again and it dawned on her that this might be the only time she could go out. And it's a bonus if she could gain new friends. Her only prayer was that by some miracle she would click with them so she wouldn't be so awkward. "Is Joon coming?"

"Huh? Oh yes I think so. He's the one who rented the car anyways. And I can't have him here. I'll be distracted." Emma winked.

"I don't want to imagine in what way he'll be a distraction to you." Tarin faked a shiver and laughed.

"Oh shush what were you even thinking! Come on just go to the bathroom already!"

"Whatever birthday girl." The younger girl shook her head. "Anyways happy birthday!" She hugged Emma with a grin before leaving the room.

 

* * *

 

"I'm so sorry it took me awhile!" Tarin blurted out politely as soon as she exited the gate, her chest rising and falling quicker than normal after sprinting down the stairs as fast as she could. She suddenly felt so conscious of her outfit, as if her denim pants and top felt tighter, and it frightened her that they would notice her fats. She was just thankful she was able to pack her long dark green oversized polo to her sleepover baggage to cover her up somehow.

The two boys were leaning against the side of the car, and her eyes landed first at Eleven, who was wearing a white cotton statement t-shirt that said  _my name is art_.

 _Cute_ , she smiled.

Although she felt a dull disappointment loom inside her chest when she noticed that he was still wearing a mask.

Eleven waved at her silently, and her heart skipped a beat.

"Oh hello! No no I'm the one who's supposed to apologize!" It was Joon who spoke first. "I'm sorry I hope we're not interrupting you in the middle of anything?"

 _In the middle of my precious golden sleep_ , she wanted to say, but she simply shook her head.

The boy sighed. "Whoo that's great." He smiled. "The truth is, the reason why we--actually I--asked for you is because I really need help from you to decide what gift I could give to Emma."

_Oh._

At that instant, Tarin felt her bubble deflate. Not that she was expecting for anything, she thought, but that was what she wanted to believe. Deep inside of her, she couldn't deny that at some point, she hoped Emma's guess was true about the reason behind her being called.

That maybe Eleven wanted to know her more?

 _Of course, why would he or anyone even be interested to know me._ She felt embarrassed for even considering the thought.

"O-ohhh. Sure! Um let's see..."

"Would you want to come to a nearby cafe first? It's my treat! Since I know I really did disturb you and I'm so sorry about that. I would've just messaged you but I didn't get to ask for your number." Joon seemed genuinely apologetic.

"There's no need to treat me I wasn't busy anyways." Tarin smiled. She felt slightly better knowing that she would be doing something for her friend. Emma meant a lot to her, and it was the least she could do to make her happy.

The three of them rode the car and she sat at the back seat, with both of the boys at the front. She lowkey hoped Eleven would stay at the back as well in the hopes of having a conversation with him but she scolded herself for thinking so.

 _Girl you're so lowkey thirsty,_ she could imagine Emma's voice whispering in her head.

"Tarin can I ask you something?" Joon's voice interrupted her trail of thoughts. He was staring ahead of the road with two of his hands gripping on the stirring wheel, but she otherwise knew his attention was divided as he was anticipating for a reply from her.

"Ohh sure what is it?"

"Well..." He tilted his head, and chuckled nervously. As if it was contagious, Eleven lightly cackled as well, the sound slightly muffled because of his mask.

 _Even his laugh sounds like Ten's,_ she thought and frowned.

"Does Emma like someone now?"

A pause.

Oh.

Wait what.

_Ohhhhhhhhhh._

"I... I am not sure." Tarin mentally slapped herself as hesitation coated her tone, which probably gave out something that made the answer to the question obvious already. It was hard for her to lie, and much more when she didn't expect to have this kind of conversation with Joon.

"...Oh right. She might have told you not to tell anyone if ever she really does like someone. Sorry for asking." Joon gave a small bow at her direction.

_Well welp, he's sharp and picks up fast._

Eleven cleared his throat. "Well the truth is--"

Joon's head snapped towards his friend. "Oh my goodness don't you dare say anything you little--"

"You didn't even know what I was about to say!" The smaller boy teased. "And I told you stop calling me small."

"--shit. Okay, so what is it then? I swear I'm going to drop you off a river if you--"

"...that you like watching naughty movies?"

"I-- Oh my god what is wrong with you."

At the back Tarin started giggling and was trying her best not to make a loud sound. "What is it really?" She interrupted, now strongly curious of what was really in Joon's head.

"Okay fine. I mean since you're Emma's closest friend and if ever I die you can tell her in behalf of me."

"You're too dramatic ew." Eleven joked.

"Shut up you  _loyal_  friend."

Joon took a left turn, and from the distance, she could already see a cafe straight ahead on the first floor of the building, which she presumed to be the place Emma suggested to him. She's been there with the older girl twice during the summer, but apart from that, it was rare for her to drop by the place. It was a good thing there was a GPS screen guiding Joon to the building which allowed him to drive and navigate without much difficulty.

"Well you see... woo um how should I say this." He chuckled nervously. "I... uh I like Emma."

"Oh I see." Tarin nodded. "Wait WHAT?"

_Ohymgdo._

"He likes Emma." Eleven repeated, and Tarin stared at the boy who was gazing at her over his shoulder. His eyes were in crescents again, and she had to try her best not to smile and blush at the sight. Eleven was definitely grinning.

"Oh god that was embarrassing." Joon faked a shiver. "And that's why I wanted to give something that's extra special. Then maybe confess to her? I don't know oh dear God I feel like it would ruin everything. Tarin I need your help what do you think?" He asked, wincing.

Tarin still couldn't believe what she was hearing.

She wished Emma was there to hear everything that was transpiring in their conversation. She was beyond happy, and it excited her thinking of what could happen next once Joon confesses to her. It was adorable how anxious he was getting and if he treasured her friend this much then she's more than willing to give him her blessing.

 _If you only know_ , she giggled internally.

"I think confessing would be the nicest gift you could give her." She simply said, but is deep inside screaming.

"But what if it would ruin our friendship?" The boy whined.

"I'm sure it won't. You're too important to Emma." She carefully chose her words to not give out anything and make it obvious she knew how Emma felt as well. Tarin thought it would be better if it would come first from Emma and vice versa.

Eleven slapped his friend's shoulder. "See! I told you!"

Joon ignored his friend and stared at Tarin with hopeful eyes. "You think so?"

She nodded.

"Okay I'm giving my trust to your words." It seemed to have lifted up his spirit as he smiled once again. He opened the car. "We're here let's go!"

Tarin smiled back and nodded. "But hey you don't really have to treat me I can just buy for myself. I still would've helped you regardless since this is also about Emma."

"I insist though!" Joon opened the door for her and she shyly thanked him. He didn't seem like he would change his mind and so she had no choice but to give in.

"Oh right!" She almost forgot and it was a good thing Emma reminded her of the paper bag. "The sweater... I washed it so it's clean now. Thank you once again for lending it to me I really appreciated the thought."

"Ah that! It was actually Eleven who asked me to give it to y-- oh my god." Joon suddenly laughed.

Behind him Eleven slapped his friend's ass, and Tarin became more confused at the sudden interruption.

Then she realized what Joon just said, and she felt heat creep up her face.

_So does it mean..._

"You only said not to tell her it's yours but you never specified not to tell that it was you who asked me to lend it to her dumbass." The taller boy hissed while rubbing his butt that stung from the slap.

"It's the same thing fatass."

The boys seemed to have forgotten her existence and so she started speaking again, but this time, she faced Eleven while trying her best to avoid his gaze. "Ohhh um... thank you then Eleven. It was really kind of you." She gave him a small bow before handing the paper bag to him, and it took around 2 seconds before the boy reached out to get it from her hand. His fingers grazed hers for a moment, and she felt her body jolt at the sudden contact.

"You're welcome! I was glad you were able to use it since you looked like you were freezing yesterday." Tarin this time risked it and stared at his face, and she saw his eye smile poking through his fringe once again. The boy scratched his head.

She smiled at him, this time wider than her usual polite smiles, and she hoped he would really feel her gratitude towards him. "It really was helpful thank you once again for your concern."

 _If only you're really Ten_ , she thought with a bittersweet smile, but she knew it's impossible to meet him that way.


	4. Keep Him Company

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was torn whether to stick using 3rd POV or 1st POV before I started publishing chapters for this fic but I thought hey why not just switch from time to time if I feel like it would fit the scene better so I'll just specify it using whoever's POV it is so yah hehe ❤️
> 
> School has been extremely demanding even after our exams that's why I couldn't find time to update ;; I apologize too I sort of rushed the latter part just so that I could update something so I can feel that this is quite disappointing. But here's chapter 4 I hope you guys would still like this! I'm sorry too for all the typos and grammatical errors!
> 
> p/s: AN IMPORTANT NOTICE! :(
> 
> I apologize because I had to modify the years Joon and Emma knew each other since I miscalculated it and if I leave it as is it would sort of affect the plot and cause inconsistencies 

**| Tarin |**

 

"How do I look Tarin?" Emma asked me, spinning around one more time while checking her reflection on the mirror. I helped her curl her hair an hour ago and I must say she's always been a stunner, and more so in the pastel blue dress she bought a few days ago.

"You're gorgeous. How are you this attractive?" My face distorted into a fake crying face.

I sobbed mentally as I wondered for the millionth time why am I not at least blessed with a fraction of her beauty. It makes me question how come I was able to survive for 4 years without the ground swallowing me whole? Like the frick, if I try my best to find my self esteem I might find it at the deepest pits of hell.

Kidding lol it's a hyperbole but yep, error 404 self esteem not found. It's hilarious how my most favorite person in the world after my mother, father and grandparents could even pass more as a girl than me.

But who am I kidding, that boy isn't even human. If I have never seen an angel before then now I could say I did. He's almost literally a living sunshine even the sun got blind from how bright and beautiful his smiles are. I even look stupid smiling every time I would open my phone and see his beautiful, ethereal, glowing being on my home screen.

"I know thanks." She flipped her hair. "Kidding haha."

"With that sparkle in your eyes I know you think otherwise."

Emma gave out a short laugh while opening one of her cabinets, and took out a pair of sandals with 3-inch heels. It's her favorite pair, although I don't see her using it unless occasions as special as her birthday requires her to wear something that's a bit more presentable.

"You know me too well huh? I mean okay it's really not my thing to fake humbleness but you know you're the only person who's privileged to see my narcissistic side. I at least think I'm pretty."

"Woo Emma it suddenly got windy? Did you open the window?"

"Stop being so sarcastic!" She giggled and smacked my head with the back of her fist lightly.

"Hey, you know I will still love you even if your narcissism would cause signal 5 storms and bring strong ass winds." I snickered but changed the subject before she could strangle me with the straps of her sandals. "Anyways! How many are they coming here again?"

She blinked at me then considered the thought. "Um, twelve? Including Joon and Eleven."

Wooop wooop?

My heart leaped at the mention of Eleven's name. What the fruit heart stop.

It's just a number, the half of my brain whispered. A cute number, of course the other half just had to say that.

"Ohh, quite a lot but technically not really."

My eyes grazed at the clock above Emma's bed to check the time which has struck to six twenty, and that's the time I noticed it was already dark outside. Emma's friends are arriving anytime soon, and the familiar but never friendly feeling of anxiety started to gnaw at my intestines I would've puked if I was my younger self, less confident and more timid. Not that I really did throw up before due to social anxiety, but it's a possibility that I've considered as a consequence of feeling too tensed inside. Although I know this feeling doesn't really last; it usually just happens during the anticipation phase thinking that I'm about to meet people I do not know. For a moment though I felt thankful Joon and Eleven would be there. At least I'd be able to see familiar faces.

Yesterday was beyond what I expected. I never thought I could manage hanging out alone with boys without feeling awkward, much less with strangers and foreigners who are of almost same age as me. You know how teenagers tend to feel this tension whenever they'd meet another teenager across an aisle in a grocery? Yep, that kind of feeling, even if I have already graduated from being a teen a few years ago. Although I was glad it was only at first, because thank God I actually clicked with them.

Though nothing much happened when we went out; we just slurped on our cold drinks and ate a slice of cake for about 45 minutes as we engaged into a light conversation. I figured both of them were born on the same year as Emma when Eleven talked about Joon's 23rd Birthday last May and how he spent his, which meant that they're both older than me. When I was asked if I could suggest any other gift for Emma that she'd like, I told Joon about the nearby flower shop on the same street and added that Emma's fond of tulips.

Everything seemed like it was smooth sailing, but if there was anything that made me anxious, it would be having to sit across Eleven in the cafe's booth.

I tried my best to keep an eye contact with him when he asked if I'm still studying but I couldn't maintain it for more than 2 seconds. Fruity pop, I probably seemed like I have ADHD. I knew that time heat was creeping up my face because seriously, I really have to admit, his eyes are really pretty. And being under his gaze made me feel like he could see through me. And see my whirlwind of thoughts that included him.

He really reminded me of Ten, but I didn't want him to think I was getting fond of him when I have someone else in mind.

I must say though they have a lot in common it scared me. I remembered staring at his ears to check if he has the same number of piercings as Ten (or if he even has piercings at all), and I almost cursed when I noticed that he does have piercings, though he only had a pair of black stud earrings on.

But it's impossible though. Ten can't be here. There's nothing to see in the city, and despite being outdated I was at least aware that they do not have a scheduled concert or fanmeet in my country. Unless he's traveling by himself? But this boy could be just someone who resembles him.

I felt like I was convincing myself more, but I knew I wouldn't be able to diminish all my delusions until I see his whole face.

_Why did I even forget to ask why he's wearing a mask?_

"They're here!" I heard Emma's squeal across the room, which disrupted my trail of thoughts. I heard the roar of car engines die down and doors slammed shut, followed by faint murmurs and car lock alarms.

Excitement bloomed inside my chest suddenly, and I smoothed down my dress before following Emma outside the room. I'm suddenly reminded of how empty the place is with the absence of Emma's parents, since they're both away for a business trip. Although from what I know, this party has been approved by them. It was a relief Emma isn't the type to throw a party without her parents' consent. She's an only child too, which is why they can be quite strict on her, but they have established a strong relationship for them to believe Emma is responsible enough.

Emma sprinted down the stairs and I couldn't understand how she was able to manage it with her heels on. Man, this girl is really something.

The doorbell rang, and before her friends could press the button once again, she opened the front door wide and gave out a shrill greeting.

"Guys! You're here!"

"No no Emma we're there." I heard one of her friends, a boy, replied with sarcasm dripping from his tone. I wheezed and shook my head.

"Anyways happy birthday!" They said almost in unison.

"Thank you! Come in!" Emma opened the door wider, and her friends streamed in the place with paper bags of different sizes in their hands. She was right about the head count, ten of them have arrived already, and by then, I obviously know who else were missing.

Music started playing from the living room, and I had to make my voice louder when I approached Emma.

"Where's Joon and Eleven?"

"Oh, they're still not here?" She snatched her phone which was resting on top of the speakers. "Joon texted me, they're parked outside but... he's just talking with Eleven for a while. Ohh wait I missed a call from him."

She dialed his number with confusion on her face. "Joon, why don't you guys come in?"

Pause.

"A—What? Why are you asking?"

"What is it?" I asked Emma, feeling slightly worried.

Emma pulled her phone away from her mouth."He's asking if there's anyone here who likes kpop."

"Oh why?" The question was so out of the blue I felt my forehead crease with confusion.

What if they both dislike kpop? If that's the case then we might not get along as much as I thought we would.

"You really like asking out of context questions seriously. I don't get how this has anything to do with tonight's occasion... Joon please just come here so I could introduce you to my friends." Emma replied almost in a whine before hanging up.

"Would you like to fetch them? I'll just go make sure the food is ready."

"Uh, sure."

Emma squeezed my hand and smiled before she headed towards the kitchen.

I opened the front door and went straight to the street to scan the road in search of the two boys. They could still be inside the car, I considered, when all I could see were the guests' cars parked at the sides with no signs of them outside. I was about to take a peek at each vehicle when I remembered that Joon rented a white car, and it's funny how it narrowed down to two, identical white cars that was left for me to check. All engines were off, which really gave me no choice but to inspect them closely.

I decided to check on the one parked at the right side of Emma's house first, which had its back facing me. This would mean I might come unnoticed unless they manage to see me at the side mirrors, which was more the reason to check on them.

After a few strides, I was finally facing the passenger side of the vehicle, but much to my disappointment, I couldn't see a thing. I noticed that the vehicle's heavily tinted, and the thought of them probably seeing me from the inside when I couldn't catch a glimpse of them as if I was staring at a one way mirror caused mild panic to well up inside of me.

Swallowing all these thoughts, I knocked twice on the glass window and hoped it would eventually roll down.

But there was no answer nor a sound.

One last check, I thought, then I brought my face close to the mirror with my hands cupped at the sides of my eyes.

I was straining to see if anyone was inside when something caught my eye.

Wait hold up.

Ohmygod.

I almost screamed like Ten in the Hit The Stage ghost prank when I saw eyes gazing back at me.

"Joon you dimwit I was asking you to unlock the door!" I heard a voice inside the car before the door opened and Eleven materialized in front of me. Joon was wheezing at the other side, and I would've punched him on his face if we're close.

He's lucky we're still at the acquaintance stage.

"Tarin I'm sorry it wasn't my intention not to acknowledge you I was asking him to unlock the door so I could go down since I couldn't roll down the window but he's such an ass." Eleven blurted out without taking a pause.

"I--uh it's okay." I forced out a chuckle even when embarrassment was killing me from the inside.

My eyes landed on the boy in front of me, and I instantly forgot I was irritated when I noticed that Eleven's fringe was combed neatly away from his forehead, and his face could've been clearly seen if it weren't from his mask.

His hair was still the same curtain-like waves parted at the middle, but this time, he gave a stronger air. Maybe it was because of his dark polo which was rolled up in three-fourths that made him look more matured and manly. The smell of his perfume filled my nose instantly due to our close proximity, and at that moment I was thankful it was dark outside when my cheeks started burning.

Welp.

"Sorry I was just curious whether you'd find out that we're inside." Joon giggled.

I would've snorted but I suddenly remembered Eleven was in front of me. "Nah it's okay. Emma warned me about your playfulness so I was able to program myself not to harbor any hard feelings." I joked and both of them wheezed.

"Have they started gathering around?" 

"Yeah. From what I know, they're about to play a game. Emma asked me to fetch you and Eleven."

"Ahh." Joon nodded in slow mo, as if he was gradually processing what I just said.

"Speaking of, can you please accompany Eleven for a while here outside? He's uh... he doesn't feel very well now so if there's a game--I'm assuming it would be similar to the stupid ones like truth or dare or seven minutes in heaven--it might make his headache worse."

At the side, I saw Eleven nodding like a kid I was scared his neck would break from how hard he was bobbing his head.

"Oh why not come inside? I can get him medicine! I can just ask Emma to excuse him from playing the game."

"Oh that's not necessary! But if it's okay with you can you stay with me for a while here outside?"

Wait did Eleven just ask me to be alone with him? Hold up binch is this safe?

"Let's just sit on the stairs at the porch, will that be okay with you?"

"Sure!"

I lowkey sighed in relief when he agreed. He's cute but he's still a guy I was nervous he would do something bibbidi bobbidi boo.

"I'll go ahead then, yeah?" Joon declared.

"Go ahead." Eleven replied as I nodded silently in response.

We both waited for Joon to disappear at the other side of the door before sitting on the tiled steps.

"Thank you for staying with me." Eleven started, and I smiled more widely than I intended to.

"No worries I didn't know what to do inside anyway. I'm not familiar with any of them since they're mostly Emma's officemates."

"I see."

Awkwardness started to crawl around us, and I mentally cursed at my inability to be spontaneous in conversations.

Then I remembered the question that kept on lingering inside my head.

"Uh, Eleven may I ask you something?"

He gave me a side glance. "Oh what is it?"

I hesitated for a while but continued anyway. "You've been wearing a mask ever since you arrived here and I was wondering if it's merely to shield you from inhaling dust or do you have a bad cold or cough?"

He was silent for a while before chuckling lightly. "I'm quite sick. I have a cold but it's not that bad. Why, do you want to see my whole face?"

My heart stopped at his sudden inquiry and I had to bite my lips inwards to stop myself from smiling.

He's too quick what the frick.

"Well no, not really... I mean I am curious but it's just that you always wear it so I was thinking maybe there's a serious reason behind it."

"Ahh." He scratched his head. "It's multipurpose. I sort of need it for cover up too."

"Why, are you a celebrity in Thailand?"

"I... no." He cleared his throat. "I just... tend to catch attention easily."

"Hmm... now I'm more curious how you look like without your mask."

"Well do you want me to expose my face?" Eleven's eyes turned to crescents.

My breath hitched at my throat but I tried my best to keep my composure. "You don't have to if you feel uncomfortable." I smiled at him. "I guess perhaps it is also the reason why you don't want to come inside? Emma's visitors are mostly girls so..."

Damn, this boy seems humble but he knows he's good-looking. Whattaman.

"I guess?" He laughed. "Kidding kidding." He waved his hand as if to shake the thought away.

I felt a new and more relaxed version of him as he directly gazed at me, and I figured it was probably a good start that we started joking around to ease the tension.

"Can you tell me more about yourself? I didn't get to talk to you a lot since Joon and I were busy roasting each other back at the cafe yesterday, sorry."

"It's alright, it was funny watching you two anyways." I admitted, and the memory made me giggle once again.

"Well, what should I say... I have a brother who just entered college this year. I love reading books and I have two dogs—"

"You have dogs?" At that moment I swear I saw his eyes sparkling.

"Yup! Are you fond of dogs too?"

"Absolutely oh my gad." He was practically squealing I couldn't help but grin at his childish behavior. Who knew he's the type to be this hyped about dogs? Cars or marvel comics maybe, but it's cute how he has a soft spot for dogs he couldn't care less if he seemed like a fangirl.

"I can get Peaches for you if you want. I just live near here. My other dog Mimi is pregnant so I can't really take her out."

"Peaches and Mimi are their names? That's so cute! I'm assuming they're both female? I would love to see them but I don't want you to walk all the way there just to show Peaches to me. Especially when you're dressed really nicely now." He gave a thumbs up. "Your dress really suits you by the way."

I almost choked on my spit.

Did he just—

"...Ohh thank you heh..."

Okay, I guess now is the time I could verbally express my previous thoughts about his look tonight.

"You look really nice too."

I winced.

What the heck could do better than that Tarin.

"Thank you! Joon told me that Emma wanted me to come here as well that's why even if it's quite humid I just had to wear this. It's the closest semi-formal outfit that I only have with me."

"That's really nice of you." I smiled at him, which was returned by his eye smile almost instantly.

"By the way, I'm not sure if you already got the same comment before but you actually remind me of someone."

I did not know what I was expecting but I said it anyway.

Eleven was swaying and thrumming his fingers on his thighs along with the beat of the blaring music inside, but stopped abruptly when he heard my comment. He met my gaze with expectant wide eyes, and for a moment I thought I saw something I couldn't decipher flicker in his eyes.

"Who?"

"I don't know if you know him though but—"

"Tarin!"

Both of our heads whipped back and we saw Emma at the door.

"Oh hi Eleven! You guys, we're about to eat dinner come inside now." She opened the door wider to usher us inside.

We both gazed at each other for a moment and I wondered if he felt as frustrated as I do from the interruption.

"Tell me later okay?" He asked me cheerfully, and he held out his hand to help me stand up.

"Thank you. And yes of course." I chuckled. "Please just remind me."

 


	5. Leaving The Party Behind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is such a late update and a crappy chapter I'm so sorry ;___; this is like a filler chapter so I'm quite expecting it wouldn't be interesting ;;;; So many things happened the past months I didn't have the energy and time to continue writing the next chapters. But I hope this is still worth a read! Please tell me what you think as well! I'd really love to hear your comments, suggestions and reactions.
> 
> Thank you so much!

"Who is he again?"

"Oh... I forgot. By the way, he looks young."

"I feel like he's just of same age as us."

There was a pause before the smaller, but the prettier one (Tarin had to admit), started speaking again.

"Let's talk to him before we leave?"

"Oh yeah we should." The other agreed almost instantly as if she's been thinking of the same thing.

Across the table, Tarin could hear snippets of the conversation that was transpiring between two of Emma's friends, and she was sure they were talking about Eleven. They all had a bit of an introduction before everyone dispersed from the living room, and the guests knew by now that Joon's the best friend Emma kept rambling about, whereas Eleven is his thai friend and she herself is Emma's closest friend who happened to be her neighbor as well.

Beside her, Emma and Joon were giggling heartily at each other's silly stories while eating pizza, their elbows leaning on the table and bodies tilted to face each other. Everyone but the two of them seemed to have taken the hint that there was something special going on between them, which might have brought about the unspoken rule between friends that he is off limits and not ready to mingle. All guests knew each other quite well already apart from the three of them, an observation which ignited the theory to formulate inside Tarin's head that there's only one possible boy left who could stir the girls' curiosity. Their stares towards Eleven were quite obvious from her view it distracted her from her food, causing her to almost completely choke on the nachos she didn't realize she was about to swallow whole.

_Why do you even care..._

"Oh my god are you okay?" Emma noticed her coughing and handed her a cup filled with water.

"Ye..ah. Sorry the nachos got stuck in my throat." She replied with a raspy voice.

"Be careful. That's so unusual of you to choke on a chip." The older female patted her back. "Were you thinking about anything?"

"I was just... I think I sort of spaced out." She lied.

Tarin's head snapped up all of a sudden when the two girls in front of her stood up and approached the small group comprised of Eleven and Emma's male friends. Eleven was modestly responding to the boys' inquiry about him, and would occasionally create small hand gestures while speaking. He bowed then when the girls soon joined them, which made them giggle as they mentioned how he was being too polite. She had to resist the urge to roll her eyes when she heard one of them ask if he's in a relationship, to which he responded with a shake of the head. Tarin hated that she could hear everything, although her hearing wouldn't have been this amplified if it weren't for the help of her curiosity, nosiness and something else she refused to acknowledge. Their interest on him was so palpable even two of the male guests snickered and gave the girls knowing looks. Eleven didn't seem to notice and appeared oblivious, which for some reason, gave her relief.

_He's not going to flirt back, will he?_

_Hey maybe the girls are just being friendly, stop being an ass and finish your damn nachos without choking on them._

Her mind had been so preoccupied wondering if Eleven's even the type to show interest when someone's hitting on him she failed to notice someone was trying to ask her a question.

"Hi, is it alright if I sit here?"

One of Emma's male friends—whom Tarin immediately recognized as the guy who cracked a sarcastic joke a while back, approached her and was tentatively holding on to the back of the unoccupied chair beside her. She jolted upwards when she realized he was talking to her, which brought a slight tint to her cheeks.

"Oh I'm sorry yes of course."

"Thank you."

The boy placed his drink on the table before carefully pulling the chair, and when he finally got to settle beside her did she only notice how good-looking he actually is. He reminded her of the Grim Reaper from the Korean drama  _Goblin_ , with his deep-seated lazy-looking eyes, pale skin and full lips. His hair even had slight curls at its tips, and when he lifted his cup to drink, she noticed how pretty and slender his fingers are.  _He definitely has mixed blood,_  she thought in her head. It felt awkward and nerve-wrecking to be beside such an attractive boy, but as usual, she tried her best to seem unaffected.

Emma noticed her friend by then, and for a moment Tarin was thankful she was there to break the tension. "Hey Kev! By the way I thought you were about to bring your cousin here? Where is he?"

 _Oh, so his name is Kev. Possibly short for Kevin._ She snorted mentally and shook her head when the name reminded her of her 4th grade crush.

"Cale? Ahh he's busy with med school stuff. He's pretty much really serious about the field he's taking." He chuckled.

"How old is he again?"

"Twenty-two?" Kev frowned and made a face. "Ah yes I'm sure I'm older than him by a year."

Tarin wished he could just sit beside Joon instead, the feeling of being sandwiched between Emma and her friend made her more uncomfortable than ever. Over her cup, she gazed at Eleven and wished he would just look at her and show any signs of wanting to escape as well, so they could maybe just pick up where their conversation have left off outside? But much to her dismay he seems to have been enjoying himself with the company he has made.

"Hi! Tarin right?"

 _Frick_.

"Ah... yes." She acknowledged the boy beside her with a small smile.

"I'm Kevin. Kev for short."  _Knew it_ , she snorted inside her head.

"Don't be so tensed! I don't bite." He grinned. "Will it make you feel more comfortable if I tell you I'm gay?"

"What?" At this, Tarin chuckled but stopped abruptly. "Uh please don't get me wrong I laughed because I didn't ask but you told me something about yourself out of the blue. What does that have anything to do with me being comfortable and such? And how can you say I'm not comfortable?" There was a tinge of amusement in her voice, which she hope would give him a hint it was really a question. It was only a few exchange of sentences between them but for some reason, Tarin felt like they would click.

"Nah I was just trying to break the ice, but I'm really gay,  _and_  I am assuming you are not homophobic." He laughed. "I have friends with different personalities and being around them taught me to be more perceptive of someone else's personality. I'm quite guessing you're the type to be quite uncomfortable with boys. Straight boys, specifically? But! That's just a guess."

She chuckled. "Touché."

"See? Told you I'm good at reading people." He grinned. "Anyways, to answer your other question, you've been quiet. And shooting some death glares at  _that_  boy's direction." Kev made a subtle motion with his head which was directed towards Eleven.

There was a pause before he spoke again, this time with an expression of someone who just had an epiphany. "Ohh... wait. Are you... are you guys together?"

 _No you are not going to choke on your fricking nachos again,_ she told herself but she's sure her baffled expression was evident.

"Oh gosh no!" She chuckled nervously. "I mean... we just met. Three days ago? He came with Joon and uh, we're just in the acquaintance stage."

"Ah I see. Well why were you looking at him then?"

"I was?"  _Does this dude have hawk eyes how in the world?_ "Oh no I was just spacing out. It was only a coincidence my eyes landed at his direction."  _You said that already oh my god._

He hummed and nodded. A sound interrupted their conversation for a while, and she figured it was from her phone when the screen lit up. There was a notification from LINE, and it surprised her when she saw Joon's name.

_"I'm about to confess. Please wish me luck."_

_Hallelujah praise the Lord._ Her eyes widened and immediately went towards Joon, who just placed his phone inside his pocket. He gave her a smile, and it seemed like he just asked Emma if they could go outside. She watched them until they disappeared at the other side of the door, and a sudden giddiness welled up inside of her.

"I'm sorry may I just excu—"

"Um excuse me may I borrow Tarin for a moment?"

"Sure." She heard Kevin say followed by the sound of a chair being dragged across the floor.

She was expecting to see Kev's face when she looked back to face him, but it surprised her when someone else caught her eye first. Eleven's eyes were in crescents again, she noticed, and she assumed he received the same message. "They're going at this certain park he said. Do you know where it is?"

Tarin excused herself before approaching Eleven, who was already about to open the front door. "I think so. There's this one park at the corner of this street. But is it okay to follow them?"

"I'm not sure." He scratched his head and gave a nervous chuckle. "But I'd honestly want to hear Joon's speech."

There was a pause before he continued, although this time she noticed how his voice faltered, as if he was hesitant to bring it up but he had no choice but to consider it anyway. "And I... also want to be there if things don't turn out the way he's hoping for."

She understood where he was coming from, and so without any protest, she agreed to accompany him outside despite knowing that it would most probably going to be a fruitful confession.

They cautiously peeked to see how far the two have come out into the night before stepping further outside on the concrete road. The streets were empty except for the two figures at the distance, their backs facing them as they moved farther away. Tarin almost cackled too loudly when she looked sideways and saw Eleven looking stupid as he was making exaggerated slow movements, too slow he was obviously overdoing it.

"You're funny. They're at least 200 meters away from us you can walk normally I don't think they would notice us."

"I know I just like being extra." He joked and let out a hearty laugh. This time, he placed his hands in his pockets and started walking side by side with her, although he still seemed cautious and didn't stay too near.

"Oh by the way, Joon said he forgot to tell you and Emma that we're leaving tomorrow to visit his aunt?"

"Ah, seems like he did. Where are you guys going then?"

"To a suburban town. He said it's quite far from here. It was our main agenda to visit his aunt, although since we're already here he wanted to stop by to see Emma as well. He just asked me to tag along with him, so I really have no say with the itinerary he has in mind. I know his aunt has been expecting him as soon as we arrived here so I feel shy to ask if we could take our time to explore this town first before going to another place."

_Oh, so he's leaving?_

She suddenly felt sadness well up inside her chest, thinking about how little time they had to get to know each other.

Before them, the two figures they've been following have disappeared around the corner of the street, but they continued walking on the same pace, as if they were only having a leisure walk in the middle of the night with no plans of trailing on Emma and Joon in the first place. She wanted to ask:  _"when are you coming back?,"_  but rephrased the question, thinking that he might assume she's actually greatly affected by their nearing departure.

 _But aren't you really affected?_  The triggering part of her mind whispered. If her brain had a neck, she would've strangled it already.

"Until when are you staying there?"

"Probably until the day before we fly back to Thailand?"

_Oh._

Eleven started walking backwards and faced her, and for a moment she felt her breath hitch in her throat. "Are you going to miss us?"

She hated how easily this boy could make her smile. "A little conceited are we?"

"I was kidding!" Despite the mask obscuring his face, she could tell that he was grinning from the sound of his voice. "Although I wish I could still get to know you and Emma more. And if everything goes well for those two lovebirds, he has been meaning to ask if the both of you would like to come with us to visit his aunt. There is a nearby beach there and we're planning to surf."

"Oh? Me too?"

"Yup! Why not?"

"Thank you really, that's really nice of him. Thank you for asking me too." She felt momentarily happy to even get invited despite not being close with Joon. "I would love to. I wish I could go, but my internship will resume tomorrow and I can't miss it."

"Eh? Is that so? That's really unfortunate. Internship seems so cruel."

She gave a bittersweet smile. "Yeah. We get little to no sleep on days of duty too."

"Don't overwork yourself! Try your best to still get as much sleep as possible okay?"

"You sound like an older brother I never had." Tarin laughed. "But thank you I will try my best. Wow I'm really envious I wish I could go to the beach too. It's been a while since I've seen one."

"We'll send you pictures! You're friends with Joon in LINE right? And even if we're back in Thailand we can stay in touch through video chat."

Something clicked inside of her brain, and the idea would have been a big no to her normally, but she thought that she's already on her twenties and it wouldn't bring her anywhere if she continues to refuse taking the initiative to ask for a boy's contact number or anything that could help them keep in touch.

 _Just go ask him dammit_.

"Oh right, um, don't you have LINE too? Can I add you too if that's okay?"

For a moment she thought he looked taken aback when his eyes widened, but before she could take a longer look at him, he suddenly stopped walking backwards and returned beside her without meeting her eyes.

"I-uh... um I do, although... how do I say this..."

_Izza sign, he means no._

Something inside her deflated when she noticed how evident his hesitation was, and as much as she wanted to deny that it somehow offended her, the feeling was already there. Yet the sensible part of her made her consider that he must have a reason why he doesn't seem to be quite open about the idea of adding her to his account. After all, they barely know each other.

_Heck, I don't even know how he exactly looks like._

"It's okay you don't have to! That's why I said if it's only okay, it's alright I understand."

"No no it's not that!" He suddenly exclaimed. "It's just that— I mean, I'm really sorry." He suddenly faced her and bowed.

"Hey oh god you don't have to apologize to that extent! It's okay really! You make it seem like you're rejecting me."

"No no—crap sorry I made it worse. The truth is that I—"

"Eleven? Tarin? Is that you?"

Their heads whipped around to face the direction where the voice came from, and they're both startled to see Emma and Joon beaming at them from afar. As if by instinct, Eleven grabbed Tarin's hand and pulled her towards the nearest tree to obscure them from their sight, despite knowing it was too late.

"Shit they caught us. Ahhh I'm so stupid." Eleven cursed and lightly hit his head on the trunk of the tree. Tarin knew there was no point in hiding but she was doing it anyway, but something else made her stop thinking straight.

Eleven was too close, too close she could smell his perfume and clearly see the black stud earring he was wearing. They heard series of footsteps echoing on the pavement, and the sound started getting louder and louder until Emma and Joon were staring at them, panting.

"We knew it. Wha—"

"Are you guys—"

"We can explain!" Tarin and Eleven said in unison, which could've been horrifying if they were caught trailing on someone who isn't a friend. Tarin wondered how funny it must've seemed like, to be hiding when their friends probably didn't even think they've been following them in the first place, but now they must have had an idea that was how it exactly looked like after seeing them hiding behind the tree.

"We weren't informed we've been playing hide and seek?" Emma joked.

It was Joon who spoke next, obviously amused. "Were you by some chance... following us?"

"Um... excuse me no?" Eleven responded, even if he knew they've already been busted. They didn't realize they have reached the corner of the street already, and it's ridiculous how he forgot to be cautious when they were so near the park.

"Oh my god." Tarin suddenly started.

"What."

"What."

"What?" Emma exclaimed, confused.

"What what? Your hands....."

Emma looked down at her hand where Tarin's eyes were fixated on, and Eleven understand then now why she blurted out a surprised reaction. Between the two figures in front of them were their hands entwined with each other, and Tarin could swear she has never seen Emma hold a boy's hand that way.

"Ah... well surprise? It's official!" Emma giggled and looked at Joon with a grin, and the sight would've been too cheesy to handle if none of them were anticipating for it.

"Holy frick finally?"

"You finally have grown some balls, man. I'm proud of you." Eleven laughed. "Thank god I won't hear your whines of paranoia anymore."

"Oh shut up." Joon playfully shoved Eleven in a head lock, and Tarin had to admit it was adorable to see them being this hyper.

"Hey! Did he ask you to come with them to visit Joon's aunt as well?"

Tarin nodded. "You going?"

"I'd like to grab as much opportunity as I could to spend with that boy with stinky feet especially now that we're together. After 6 damn years can you imagine?" She paused for a moment and grabbed the younger girl's hands, before enveloping her in a hug. "I'm really happy Tarin."

She felt warmth bloom inside her chest, thinking how much her friend deserved the happiness she's been experiencing at that moment. "I'm so so glad for you. I've been anticipating for this ever since you told me about him. Finally."

"Joon told me about the advice you gave him. I wish I could do the same thing for you. Be a bridge. Aren't you liking Eleven yet?" Emma inquired enthusiastically.

"Jeez Emma just because you're in a relationship now doesn't mean I have to in one too."

"Why not though? If you like him? Forget about Ten sometimes, would you?"

Tarin suddenly felt flustered at the sudden mention of the boy's name, but she thought it was ridiculous of her to even be reacting that way. "Hey, what do you exactly think of me? I'm not extremely delusional you know, Ten has nothing to do with this. I'll find a guy someday, but I can't just force myself to like someone."

"Hmm well whatever you say." The older female rolled her eyes. "But I would just like to remind you that you're not the only girl in the world. If you're taking interest in Eleven, you should give your best to catch his attention. I am aware some of my friends were hitting on him awhile ago."

 _Damn_. "You're sharp huh."

"I knew you noticed it too. And, if you're going to deny you were looking at him, save it. There's no point lying to your friend." Emma gave her a smirk.

"I heard from Eleven that you can't come with us tomorrow, that's really unfortunate." Joon said as he approached them. Tarin shifted her gaze to the tall boy and gave an apologetic smile, although she could sense that he understand her situation. After all, her internship carries a big weight that would determine her future.

"You're not going?!"

"Emma you know about my internship." Tarin reminded her friend and gave her a pinch on her left cheek.

"We'll see you tomorrow morning then?"

"I'll be leaving around 7 am tomorrow, I hope we get to see each other before you guys leave."

"Yeah! And we'll make sure we get to send you pictures." The smaller boy replied.

"Thank you. You guys, take care and enjoy too." She smiled at them brightly, although deep inside, she really wished she could take at least a day off and have a proper vacation like most of her friends. And maybe, just maybe, she'll  be able to gain a close friend, if only her responsibilities wasn't stopping her from spending more time with Eleven.


	6. exposed by a nickname

It took Ten four times to contact Johnny before someone finally picked up. He then remembered NCT 127 had a schedule that day, although he was quite sure nothing's really going on at 7 o'clock in the morning when they're only guesting on a radio show in the afternoon. He couldn't contain his excitement at the thought of seeing a beach and surfing once again, and every time he would like to rant and blabber about something, it is usually Johnny who would tolerantly listen to him. Although a part of him felt guilty for even calling his friend, knowing that the older male would've wanted to have this kind of vacation as well but due to the nature of his work and with 127 now currently promoting, he couldn't do so.

"Hello?" A baritone voice greeted Ten.

"Wait, who's this?" He immediately knew the voice didn't belong to Johnny, although he already had an idea who it was.

"Ah— Ten hyung it's me Jaehyun."

"Oh Jaehyun! Why is hyung's phone with you?"

"He's getting his hair fixed. He told me to look after his phone for him."

"Ah I see..." Ten's bubble deflated a bit but then he remembered that the younger boy had been an all ears to him as well when he used to rant about his past activities in Thailand before he got into SM. It's been a while since he was able to share some stories with him, and for a moment he felt quite nostalgic thinking of how they used to be so much closer before Jaehyun debuted under a unit he wasn't included in.

"What's up hyung?"

"Oh! I just wanted to tell Johnny about my next destination but then I guess I just have to call later." He chuckled.

"Oh I'm curious! You can tell me if you don't mind."

"Really?" Ten smiled to himself. "Well then, okay!"

Ten proceeded on blabbering about his trip without a break, starting when he made two new friends and how Joon and Emma finally got together. He then talked about the rest house they were about visit a few hours from now, which according to Joon has an exclusive beach nearby with fine white sand, and pretty, cozy restaurants surrounding the area serving good local food. It is not as if beaches are rare in Thailand—in fact they already have tons of them back in his hometown, he thought. The only issue he had been worrying about was regarding privacy, a luxury he would most probably be deprived of if he chose to book for a domestic trip. He's fully aware of how much he and his group have gained popularity for the past years, and as much as he's grateful for it, it can get pretty uncomfortable to be watched by people with every breath and move you take. For once he wanted to relax in peace without worrying about the paparazzi, and the thought of exploring a different country made Joon's invitation even more appealing to him.

"Do you think it'll be okay if I won't wear a rash guard? I just realized it doesn't really go well with the color of my shorts."

Jaehyun wheezed. "Why what's the color of your swimming trunks?"

"Blue."

"Your rash guard?"

"The chest part is black but the sleeves are yellow. Bright yellow."

"Hey it's not that bad. You would look just like Dory from Finding Nemo." Jaehyun laughed.

"Hey!" Ten protested. "I'm sorry okay? I packed my stuff last minute and just grabbed the first pair I saw in my luggage. I have another shorts with me but I just realized now the garter is ruined."

"Don't wear shorts then."

"What."

"I was kidding!" Even if Ten couldn't see the younger boy he knew the other was smiling so much his dimples were poking out of his cheeks.

"Anyways what's wrong with going shirtless? Didn't you mention the place is quite exclusive? You can practically go naked if you want no one would care."

"Joon's girlfriend would be there smartass." He laughed. "But to answer your question I'm worried I'd get burnt. I don't intend to get a tan you know. You especially know how we should strictly look after our appearance."

"Right. Sucks to be an idol sometimes."

Ten snorted. "Sometimes." He took a sip of his coffee before he strode towards the window.

"Hey. You mentioned about another friend right?"

The older boy hummed in affirmation as he shoved the curtains to the side, allowing the bright morning light to penetrate through the glass windows to bring some illumination in the gloomy hotel room. Ten felt happy the weather was sunny, just according to how he wished that day would be.

"You didn't say much about her. How is she? Is she the same age as you? Is she pretty?" There was an underlying tone of playfulness in Jaehyun's voice that rather suggested he wasn't just merely curious of the girl. He knew the younger was starting to tease him, and for a moment he just wished Jaehyun was there to see her for himself. It's not that he dreaded talking about her, but the thought of having to describe a girl made him feel like he really wouldn't be able to give justice with how she really is in person.

"She is pretty, in fact. Does that satisfy your curiosity?" Ten grinned. "Although I unfortunately I don't know how old she is but I feel like she's younger? I wish I could let you meet her, Emma and Joon they're really great company."

"What's her name?"

"Emma's friend? Tarin."

"Well, do you like her?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I? She's really nice."

From the other side of the line, Ten heard Jaehyun breathe out an exasperated sigh. "I mean, as a potential girlfriend kind of like."

"I knew you'd say that." He shook his head "I only knew her for about 4 days Jaehyun."

"A lot can happen in 4 days you know. When will you ever let your love life bloom hyung?"

"Oh shut up you know I can't fall in love." A groan escaped his throat, given with a fact that it wasn't only Jaehyun who encouraged him to meet girls and at least have a fling. "It's better if I don't genuinely feel any fondness for someone especially during this time. At least I won't have to force myself to suppress my feelings for the sake of protecting my image and at the same time, whoever it is I'll be involved with."

"Does she know you?" This time, Jaehyun sounded serious.

It took Ten a moment to realize who he was pertaining to, and the moment he realized who, Ten felt his heart constrict. He hadn't thought about it in awhile.

"I-I don't know. They never saw my entire face, Joon is the only one aware I'm an idol."

"That's good then. But how long can you keep your identity hidden from them?"

"If one or the both of them somehow have background knowledge with our field of work, our company for example, well I guess... there's not much time left before they figure out who I am."

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Dear, can you do me a favor? Can you please hand me those antibiotics from the top most shelf?"

"Ah— sure Ma'am." Tarin dropped the printed cases of patients on the counter before she approached the bulky metal shelf. She strained to reach for the bottles situated at the top layer of the shelf, and she had to fight the strong urge to remind the head nurse she wasn't gifted with so much height. It was 8 am in the morning and the staffs in the hospital were already circling around attending to different patients, answering inquiries from walk-in visitors and doctors doing rounds with interns like her so they could grow accustomed to one of the aspects of clinical practice.

By some miracle she was able to reach for the tray of antibiotics and politely handed them over to the head nurse, who in return smiled and muttered a sweet 'thank you' to her.

Tarin felt lifeless after Emma's party ended late last night, the lack of sleep was clearly manifesting on how frequent she had been yawning for the past hour. A frown then formed on her lips when she remembered that Emma's now bound to travel with Joon and Eleven, and it tortured her to feel frustrated, envious and lonely all at once. If only she could catch up after today's shift is over, but tomorrow requires her presence in the hospital as well.

Her stomach growled and it was only then when she remembered she skipped the most important meal of the day, and so she excused herself from the doctor supervising them after they visited the last patient. She thought of visiting the canteen for a while to grab something she could quickly eat.

After paying for a sandwich and a bottle of apple juice, she settled on one of the tables and started eating, and at that point she felt she could consume another sandwich after realizing how hungry she was. She was halfway through finishing her food when her phone suddenly rang, the screen flashing 'My Beloved Bootiful Neighbor.'

"Emma?" She spoke, her voice partly muffled by the food in her mouth.

"Hey where are you?"

"I'm in the hospital of course."

"Yeah I know but, where exactly?"

"Uh, canteen?"

"Does it mean you're free for the mean time?" Emma inquired.

"I-I'm not sure. I just excused myself since I haven't eaten breakfast. Why?"

"Can you meet me—us, for a while before we leave? We won't be long. You can find us at the left side of the hospital's entrance."

"Wait you're here?"

"Yes."

"Oh." Tarin paused for a moment, thinking whether it'll be okay to sneak out for a moment. Then it dawned on her Emma would be gone for about 3 days, and this may be the last time she'd be able to see Joon and Eleven.

"Sure wait for me."

  
  


* * *

 

 

 

"I'll miss you have a safe trip." Tarin pouted and squished Emma's cheeks.

"I'll be back really soon don't miss me too much okay?"

Tarin rolled her eyes at her friend's teasing but otherwise hugged her affectionately.

"Tarin." She looked back and felt her heart move up her throat. Eleven was clearly smiling again, his pretty eyes forming small crinkles at the sides.

She didn't know if she felt attached to him, nor how long she'll feel sad once he leaves, but by then she regretted she wasn't able to keep a more spontaneous conversation with him even if she felt comfortable with his company. He still reminded her of Ten, but seeing him so free and acting so normal have rather convinced her it's impossible for the Ten she knows to be mingling this way. At least that's what she wanted to believe for the sake of her sanity. She knew it's impossible to even meet him like this.

So close, too close.

"I never got to see your face." Tarin stated teasingly, but thought that she wouldn't pry further. At that point she still felt like there was a line between them she's too afraid to overstep, even when a part of her mind suggested that he may be hiding something.

"I...don't want you to get sick too."

Tarin chuckled. "Not that I haven't been exposed to more life threatening diseases here."

"Well... at least it won't come from me. I'll be guilt-free." Eleven laughed.

I'll miss your laugh. She wanted to say, but she held herself back.

"When I heard that I would be meeting with Joon's aunt and Emma, I bought some souvenirs back in Thailand. It was a good thing I bought some more, since I'd like to give you one as well. I—we would like to give this to you. It's not that much but I just wanted to leave you with something as a token of gratitude for warmly welcoming Joon and I here in your country." Eleven placed his palm out in front of her and offered a small, dome-shaped item made out of wood designed with flower paintings on top of it. It felt warm on her fingers when she plucked it from his hand, and she wondered if he had been holding it for quite some time already.

"You didn't even have to give me anything, really. But thank you. What is this?" Tarin asked while inspecting the item, and when she discovered how to open it, she was surprised to see a beautiful realistic-looking red rose inside.

"Oh my god it's beautiful."

"It's a soap flower carving. Eleven picked it out himself." It was Joon who responded, a warm smile plastered on his lips. Tarin felt herself blush, thinking of how thoughtful the boy was in front of her. It was commendable how he picked out such a unique souvenir to give, most especially when people would usually give out fridge magnets and elephant keychains.

"We'll be going now then. It was really nice meeting you Tarin. This shouldn't be our last meeting! Someday we'll see each other again." Joon grinned and gave her a hug, before he went inside the car, followed by Eleven and Emma who lingered for a moment just to lecture her about eating on time.

"Yes yes mother." Tarin replied jokingly, having enough of her friend's same speech every time she's bound to leave. "Now go have fun and take care."

"I promise to update you and send you photos of Eleven." She winked before taking a seat at the passenger's side. With one last wave, Joon started the car and drove off.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It was quarter to 3 in the afternoon when they finally reached the beach house of Joon's aunt. The moment the vehicle came into a halt, Ten just wanted run out, find the beach and feel the cold, salty water on his skin. But he knew it would be disrespectful to take off at that instant, as he was aware he's only a guest with no direct relationship with the person who owned the house.

A woman on her sixties came out of the house to greet the three of them, which Ten assumed to be Joon's aunt. She had a graying her and petite built, but when she smiled at the sight of them, it made her look a few years younger, Ten thought.

She spoke in thai to them all, and it was then when he was reminded that Emma's fluent in thai as well when he saw her giggling at what what Joon's aunt was saying.

Emma excused herself for a moment and asked if she could use the restroom, and Joon's aunt led her inside before coming back to the two boys.

"Auntie, can we go to the beach before sunset?"

"Ah of course! But can you please introduce me first to your friend? Is he the one you told me you'd bring with you?"

"Oh yes yes. Auntie, this is Ten. Ten meet my aunt Aum."

Ten smiled warmly and bowed to her with his hands together.

"Is the girl with you your girlfriend Joon?"

Joon sheepishly smiled before he nodded.

"Oh and I've been meaning to ask. Are you sick, dear? Why do you have a mask on?" Her gaze landed on Ten once again, her eyes showing concern, and then it was only then when it dawned on him that Joon introduced him with his true nickname.

"Err, it's a long story. But you'll see his face soon." His friend answered for him, and Ten was thankful when Joon's aunt didn't further ask about it.

"You may go and enjoy yourselves then! I have the guest rooms prepared for you and your friends. Make yourselves comfortable. Dinner is at 6:30."

They thanked her before they unloaded their luggage, the excitement starting to thrum on Ten's veins.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The scenery before him was exactly how Joon described it on his message before. It was breathtaking, Ten thought in awe, his eyes sparkling with the sight of the fine white sand warm under his feet, the clear blue sea gently touching the shoreline with faint waves and seashells dotting the expanse of the sand covered land here and there. Sunset was fast approaching, and so he decided that he would just simply admire the scenery before him and postpone his plan to surf tomorrow morning instead.

Ten held his phone and took a photo of the sight before him, and he felt satisfied when the shot was able to capture the sky's colorful vibrance perfectly.

Music started playing somewhere and it only hyped his euphoric self even more. For what felt like weeks of consistently wearing a mask on, he then removed it and inhaled the fresh air. He smiled and started dancing to the upbeat music blaring from the distance, his mirthfulness earning an entertained laugh from his friend.

"Damn look at him go off! I missed seeing you dance, but you never really changed, have you? You still look as crazy as ever."

"Shut up Joon." Ten threw his bag at his friend which the other caught midair.

Ten wondered how Emma would react once she realizes he already took off his mask. The moment Ten ended his conversation with Jaehyun that morning, he already told himself he'll stop keeping his identity hidden, as it was already limiting his every move and chance to enjoy himself to the fullest.

Although if there was one thing that reassured him, it was knowing that Emma never really got into kpop. At least that was what Joon told him. He never thought there would come a day he'll even use a fake name in exchange for momentary peace.

Emma was picking up seashells from a distance when Joon called out to her.

"Emma! Someone's calling you."

"Who?" She shouted back, her footsteps muffled by the sand as she brisk walked towards the hut.

"M-Mrs. Leechaiyapornkul?"

At that, Ten's head whipped back and he stopped dancing.

Did he just hear his last name?

"Oh that's just Tarin." Emma giggled.

Joon gave her a puzzled look before he handed her her phone, and from a distance he met Ten's gaze.

"Emma, why do you call her that way?" Joon asked his girlfriend when she ended the call.

"First of all she's not married if that's what you're thinking." She giggled once again. "I call her that to tease her. She has this huge admiration for this certain artist and I believe he's also thai? Leechaiyapornkul is his last name so I placed that as her nickname in my contacts."

Panic showed on Joon's face, but before Emma could notice it, he replaced it with an amused expression. "Um... Well, that's interesting. What's the boy's name?"

"The thai artist? I think it's Ten? Tarin said Eleven even reminds her of him."

"What were you guys talking about?" Ten interjected, his skin covered with a thin layer of sweat after dancing to an entire song.

"Holy guacamole." He heard Emma say.

"Oh my god Eleven you're so handsome?"

"What." Ten blurted out loud before he even caught himself.

Oh right, I'm barefaced now. He reminded himself, and he waited for her to manifest any signs of familiarity while internally grimacing.

"Oh, um thank you." He replied shyly.

"Why did you only take it off now! You should've allowed Tarin to see your face she would've been pleased. I guess the sea healed you?" She grinned.

"I—yes I suppose."

"Well. That's good then." Emma smiled.

So she really doesn't know me, Ten breathed a sigh of relief.

"I should go back and collect more seashells my cousin's daughter is expecting me to bring a bottle of them."

"Oh sure sure. We'll just wait for you here." Joon muttered and touched her arm affectionately before letting her go.

"Ten, I have to tell you something." Joon blurted out his name so sternly it made Ten chuckle.

"Why do you sound so serious?"

"Emma doesn't know you."

"Yeah I figured. It's a relief then right? But sooner or later she might figure out my name is not Eleven once she hears your aunt call me Ten."

"Don't worry about that, it's not that much of an issue. Someone else knows you though."

"Does it matter if there's only 3 of us here? Plus your aunt, her grandchildren and two housekeepers I doubt they even have interest in kpop. Unless you're telling me your aunt is my fan?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Shut it Ten my aunt doesn't even use a phone with a camera, what more check the internet and watch Baby Don't Stop." Joon laughed.

"So, who is it then?" Ten shrugged, the conversation amusing him rather than unsettle his nerves.

"Are you ready?" Joon cocked his head to the side.

Ten hummed. Little did he know it was the name he least expected.

"She knows you. Tarin."

"And guess what? She's your fan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with chapter 6!!!
> 
> First of all I'm really sorry for failing to update for almost 5 months ㅠㅠ College had been extremely demanding I couldn't spare some energy to continue writing, and stress entirely blocked my brain from creating a good flow ㅠㅠ My school break just started this week and I was really looking forward to posting this chapter! Second, thank you so much for all the kudos, comments and reads! Despite failing to update for months, it really made me happy when I saw some of you left comments and kudos when I was away. I was surprised too guest readers found this fic and kindly left kudos ;;;; All of them were greatly appreciated, thank you for appreciating my work! I do hope that you also liked this chapter.
> 
> I apologize for all the grammatical errors, misspelled words or if I have failed to take note of any inconsistencies. But please do let me know what you think! Thank you!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm just new here in ao3 and I'm still trying to discover how this site works >//< I originally posted this in wattpad however, my friend suggested me to post this as well here ^^
> 
> This is the first NCT fanfic I've ever written and hopefully I get to finish this! I'm also planning on writing a jaeten fic (a one shot at least) because they're my otp and jaeten fics are so rare ;; I hope this fic would get love! Comments would be greatly appreciated and will for sure motivate me to write more! :)
> 
>    
> You may leave some questions, comments or messages here https://curiouscat.me/senosyne or DM me in my twt account @senosyne
> 
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> 
> Copyright © 2017- senosyne  
> All Rights Reserved


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